大学申请文书范例:如何写好你的故事

  没有个人陈述文书的申请都是不完整的,专家说,一篇好的大学申请陈述应该突出学生的声音和个性,这可能会让很多学生望而却步。如何能写好一份好的申请故事,请看出国留学网( , 4 – = G * : Z下文为大家带来的例子。

但是一些简单的建议,一些自省,以及洞察到了招生官寻找的点,可以帮助自己缓解文书准备压力。USNews编辑了几篇帮助学生入学的大学论文范例。他们说,在招生人员的分享下,这些论文脱颖而出,因为学生们的声音发出光芒,帮助学校更佳了解他们。

马萨诸塞州塔夫茨大学(Tufts University)招生和招生管理主任卡伦•理查森(Karen Rich{ . ;ardson)表示:“我们实际上是在倾听学生的声音,并试图描绘出他们在学校生活中的大体形象 这不仅仅是学生选择写的主题,而是他们如何就相关主题进行书写的。我们鼓励学生展示而不是讲述,以帮助读者了解他们是谁。”

专家表示,这篇文章应该让学校了解他或她的性格。

纽约汉密尔顿学院(Hamilton College)负责招生管理的副校长莫尼卡•因泽(Monica Inzer)说:“总的来说,一篇^ % &好的陈述应该是能让我了解到有关学生的一些信息,而这些信息是我在申请过程中从其他地方无法了解到的。”

但因泽指出,对许多学生来说,自己发声可能是一个挑战,因为他们的生活经验可能有限。此外,她补充说,到目前为止,他们一直在给高中老师的指示写信,而不是给自己写信。找到自己的声音意味着学生必须了解自己,以权威的方式写作,与招生官员分享他们的生活感受。

在其招生页面上,汉密尔顿列出了该校录取学生所写的多篇大学论文范例,这些例子提供了学生们不同的声音和背景。下面摘录的这篇文章通过对飞蝇钓鱼的热爱,展现了这名学生的个性。

I kept a firm grip on the rainbow trout as I removed the lure from its lip. Then, my heart racing with excitement, I lowered the fish to the water and watched it flash away.

I remained hooked.

! B b W I caught that 10-inch fryling five years ago on Fall Creek using a $5 fly rod given to me by my neighbor Gil. The creek is spectacular as it cascades down the 150-foot droS ( = L Pp of Ithaca Falls. Only 100-feet further, however, it runs past a decrepit gun factory and undern K 3 u Weath a graffitied bridge before flowing adjacent to my high school and out to Cayuga Lake. Aside from the falls, the creek is largely overlooked. Nearly all of the high school students I know who cross that bridge daily do so with no thought of the creek below.

When I was a toddler, my moms say I used to point and ask, "What? What? What?" Even now my inquisitive nature is obvious. Unlik] P ( Se my friends, I had noticed people fly fishing in Fall Creek. Mesmerized by their graceful casts, I pestered Gil into teaching me. From that first thrilling encounter with a trout,2 v h I knew I needeE k a x H n L C Ad to catch more. I had a new string of questions. I wanted to understand trout behavior, how to find them, and what they ate. There was& + q l ? ; o researcY – k 4 + ] T ^h to do.

I devoted myself to fly fishing. I asked questions. I woke up at 4 a.m. to fish before school. I spent days not catching anything. Yet, I persisted. The Kid's Book of Fishing was replaced by Norman MacLi k E 0 Uean's A River Runs Through It. Soon Ernest Hemingway's essays found their place next to Trout Unlimited magazines by my bed.

I sought teachers. I continued to fish with Gil, and at hisZ K q i ^ M i invitation joined the local Trout Unlimited Chapter. I enrolled in a fly-tying class.

There I met Ken, a soft-spoken molecular biologist, who taught me to start each flyH $ | ? } I make by crimping the hook to reduce harm to fish, and Mike, a sarcastic Deadhead lawyer, who turns over rocks at al– W r z Ml times of year to "match the hatch" and figure out which insects fish are eating. Thanks to my mentors, I can identify and create almost every type of Northeastern mayfly, caddisfly, and stonefly.

The more I learned, the more protective I felt of the creek and its inhabitants. My knowledge of mayflies and experience fishing in many New York streams led me to notice the lack of Blue-Winged Olive Mayflies in Fall Creek. I figured out why while discussing water quality in my AP Biology class; lead from the gun factory had contaminated the creek and ruined the mayfly habitat. Now, I participate in stream clean-up days, have documented the impact of invasive species on trout and other native fish, and have chosen to continue to explore the effects of pollutants on waS J K zterways in my AP Environmental Science class.

Last year, on a frigid October morning, I started a conversation with the man fishing next to me. Banks, I later learned, is a contemporary artist who nearly died struggling with a heroin addiction. When we meet on the creek these days we talk about casting techniques, aquatic ins{ 0 0 lects, and fishing ethics. We also talk about the healing power of fly fishing. I know Banks wouldK W I – K . agree with Henry David Thoreau, who wrote "[Many men] lay sA O 7 V y 2 do much stress on the fish which they catch or fail to catch, and on nothing else, as if there were nothing else to be caught."

Initially, my goal was to catch trout. What I landed was a passK 3 A Vion. Thanks to that first morning on Fall Creek, I've found a calling that consumes my free time, compels me to teach fly fishing to others, and drives what I want to study in college.

I will be leaving Fall Creek soon. I am eager to step into new streams.

“最重要的是学生自己的声音,”因泽说。他指出,过于客观的论文会削弱学生的个性。

“你可以把这一文章看作自己整个申请的灵魂。虽然我们认识到,y o ( 6 I | 1 I需要多年的辛勤工作和奉献精神, 在自己的高中生涯建立一个强大的大学申请, 帮助招生委员会在我们的教室、我们的俱乐部和我们的社区中描绘你的是你自己的声音和观点,”埃伦金说,他是马里兰州的约翰霍普金斯大学本科招生学院院长。

“这篇文章是能活跃地表达学生自身的空间。委员会并不是在寻找什么特别的东西,因为只有一部分东西能说明一些问题,那就是学生们如何在那个空间里分享自己是很重要的。”Kim说。

有些大学除了要求学生写个人短文外,还要求学生写一篇补充短文。招生专家指出,这些论文通常篇幅较短,重点是回答学院提出的一个具体问题。

不过,在某些情况下,学校可能会把补充论文作为首要申请任务。圣约翰学院(St. John’s College)负责招生的副校长本杰明•鲍姆(Benjamin Baum)说,圣约翰学院的情况就是如此,该校在马里兰州和新墨西哥州都有校区。

鲍姆说:“我们虽然称之为补充文书,但实际上,这是学生们在申请时要写的最重要的一篇论0 5 / C @ 1 5 ;文。”h + F V她还补充说,这篇论文让学校能够围绕圣约翰学院的学术重点为申请者量身定制问题。

专家们说,补充短文往往很短,但圣约翰学院(St. John's College)却与这一趋势背道而驰,它要求学生至少写400字。这是因为学校希望看到学生就选定的主题进行长篇写作。

Baum指出以下这篇关于学生对政治和法律哲学的热爱的补充文章就是一个很好的例子:

Last y] P , $ear in my Constitutional Law class, I fell in love with political and legal philosophy. Sexy, right?

Maybe not, but I loved the rules, the structure, and the big questions that surrounded organizing a government. I thought about these things constantly—while brushing my teeth, doing chores, and driving to school. Unable to take this beloved course a second time, I chose my senior clasI Q | B o 4 , |ses with more than a touch of melancholy. I was skeptical that even the most appealing humanities class, AP Literature, would be anything but anticlimactic by comparison. I'd become so accustomed to reading the function-focused writings of Locke, Rousseau, Madison, Thoreau, that I found it difficult to see "literature" as anything more than mere stories. I wanted substance that I could actually do something with, and I didn't expect to find it in AP Lit.

Settling down to read our first assigned book, Sophocles' Antigone, I was apathetic. We'd done a pre-reading exercise earlier in class and I'd gathered that Antigone was jusw H 0 L b a T Vt the sad story of a wannabe-martyr-descendant-of-Oedipus who crosses the wrong king, dies, breaks her fiance's– F z 1 = 1 f g Q heart with her death, leading him, and her would-be mother-in-law by extension, to suicide, blah, blah, blah. I fanned the pages with my thumb, checked the time (10:15 p.m.), and willed myself to make it through the first ten pagp 0 ;es without falling asleep.

Rousseau's familiar skepticism of an unchecked ruler, Locke's notions of natural rights philosophy, and Thoreau's willingness to violate immoral lz J } P z Naws. Wait—this was a literature class, and yet here was Sophocles articulating the same concerns of the Framers of the Constitution (hun& N K 5 a n *dreds of years before any of them were born).

Antigone hY W Sas become my favorite book because it wraps political and legal theory around complex characters and a compelling narrative. Prior to reading Antigone , I assumed that if I hadn't read every book that pertained to the architecture of US government, I had at least heard of them. But I was so mistaken. Antigone proved this assumption wro5 A D , |ng because Antigone itself was a case study in the actual conseque2 e a u A } : B Wnces of ideas discussed by political philosophers. In other words, Antigonehumanized the esoteric and function-driven debates I'd studied last year. Witnessing Haemon cradle his dead fiance in his arms, then subsequently kill himself before his father's eyes, allowed me to see all of the ideas I'd spent hours considering as not purely political questions, but as human ones. Finishing the play, I was ashamed that I'd harbored such skepticism at the outset of my reading. My eL h V d { –xperience with Antigone reminds me why I get excited each time I use calculus in physics or art in cooking, and I look forward to a life` – ^ 6 @ Gtime of making these connections.

从引人注目的开场白到| _ W A o E g G ?对学科课程的强调,Baum说这个例子之所以突出是因为学生的“知识热情”。她对深入学术概念的接受向招生团队表明,她非常适合这所大学。

虽然圣约翰学院可能要求学生给出更深入的答案,但其他学G X { D ^ V u校看重简洁,! = S ) m 4 Y ]要求学生写得简明扼要。塔夫茨分享的一个这样的例子,用不到250个字,就把读者从学生对折纸的热爱带到了对科学的热爱。

Using a flimsy` E E ^ ! h W ; k piece of printer paper, I remember folding my first paper crane. Reading instructions off a dusty origami book from my basement, my fingers fumbled wZ b T ~ c f With the paper, folding, unfolding, refolding, and possibly some frustration-induced crumpling. Nearly an hour later, withY n k j little creases scattered across its body and a misaligned beak, it was clear that origami wasn't a natural talent of mine.

Despite its deformities, there was an endearing quality to the bird I cou2 [ Cldn't quite explain. After sixteen folds, it resembled the paper only in color and material. I would fold countless other designs, until my room was covered with creations from simple paper boats to intricate seven part lotus flowers.

The joy I found in origami lied in the fact that I had the freedom to invent anything; with each fold, creativity flowed through my fingers, converting curiosity of the potential of each fold into an irrepressible desire to create more. It is what motivated me to read about 2D kinematics to win a projectile motion challenK g W O _ P c t uge, and understand the chemistry behind qualitative analysis of cations for a lab.

Everything I could ever want to know and more is right at my fingertips. From the change in weight I feC X $ [ o K 3el in a moving elevator, to the chemical reactions that cause the plastic stars in my room to glow, science is a field that permeates every single aspect of life. I know my curiosity to understand the world around me nurtures my love for science.

理查森说,一篇关于非典型主题(如折纸)的文章的吸引力表明,作者愿意为其承担风险。

“折纸这一兴趣不是一篇大学论文的典型主题,但除此之外,她给我们展示了她的制作过程,而不是告诉我们她制作的东西并不总是符合她的期望或要求。”尽管如此,她还是继续努力。这有助于我们把她看作一个愿意在我们的校园里纵身体验新事物的人。这里突出的是她用来表达观点的意象——我能想象出她地板上的皱巴巴的纸和她感到的沮丧。最终,她能够将自己的折纸创作过程与自己的学术兴趣联系起来,”理查森在一封$ 6 –电子邮件中写道。

当涉及到写一篇大学入学申请论文时,无论是个人的还是补充的,专家们建议学生们遵循同样的规则:找到自己的声音,写一个对他们来说重& G | 2 & o要的话题,分享他们的个性,表达自己的想法,并广泛校对。关于后一点,专家建议学生们在提交论文之前,先与熟悉自己的人分享。

老师、朋友和父母都可以帮助校对,但专家指出,学生自己的声音应该保持完整。

“大学申请陈述文书真的需要是学生的工作。我鼓励学生让身边的人读这篇文章,并问“你知道这篇文章是关于我的吗?”如果得到的答案是否定的,那么是时候修改文章了。但要确保文章还是以你的声音发出,”理查森说。

Inzer还提醒到,但是学生不要在陈述文书上花太多精力,不要把不必要的重量放在申请大学上。虽然一篇优秀的文书,可能会在一个竞Y ; ) U 9争激烈的领域提升一个申请人,但她说,它不会决定一份申请的成败。

“单凭这一点不能让申请者被录取;他们的成绩1 M ? Z 5 5 * – n,学习努力程度和许多其他的事情,都是重要的考察因素。但这可能会让他们得到额外的关注,尤其是在一个有很多优秀候选人的高选择性的地方,” Inzer说。

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